all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
