you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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