well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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