ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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