marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
