I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
