just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
pray to the hookup gods
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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