tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
