Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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