Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
