Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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