please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
