did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
