Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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