god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
