I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
