I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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