There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
