i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
