I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
