Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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