do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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