dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
