I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
