Do vagina's smell?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
