i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
