with your own penis?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
