i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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