I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
