Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
