he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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