Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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