I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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