Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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