i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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