we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
