so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
