Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
