I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i will never coherently bang her
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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