i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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