we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
