And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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