How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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