Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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