Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
