do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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