I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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