don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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