another moral hangover. fuck.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
