ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
