just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
