R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
