Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
