I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
