yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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