He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
