I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
