We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
